Jerk Off


No matter how much money his family has, I believe this guys always been a loser. Just one of those arrogant rich guys who thinks he's so much better than everyone else. No man of the people.
When his terms over, good riddance. The WORLD will be better off.

Happy Holidays

merry xmas and all that jazz. Its been awhile since Ive written anything, but certain factors are responsible- no comment on that. Im also waiting to get internet at my house since I just moved. I dont miss internet that much, since Im not able to do what Id like. But I still miss downloading music and checking email and such. I havent even set up my laptop since moving, theres no room at the moment. Thats really all I have right now, more to come.

You know whats sad? Kevin Federlines new website will get 100 times more hits than my little blog will ever get. I mean neither of us do anything great, but I know for sure that I have more to say and to contribute to the world than 'K-Fed's whack ass bitchin, I mean rhymes. Hi Mr. Spears! Ooooo, you hate that dont ya?

I mean really...

In keeping with the post below 'Faith in inanimate objects', I was bored and thought Hey, I'll just go to eBay and see what people are trying to make a profit from. The newest scam seems to be the 'Wheres jesus' game. This was the only one on the list, but I was glad to see the guy put such a description. I love how these ppl auction this stuff off and say things like, "Its someone elses turn". Yet youre selling the thing off! Instead of giving it to your neighbor or family, you want to see how much money you can get from it cos you know someone somewhere will buy it. A piece of toast...no, a burnt piece of toast. Nothing more, up to $1.25. You can buy a loaf of bread for that much and burn it all to look like the nativity scene and sell that instead...hmm, i gotta run to the store really quick. Below is the description for the burnt toast on eBay.



"Up for bid is what I believe to be a genuine religious revelation. We have all seen countless scams and imitations of revelations like this before. I myself have laughed at them, and until yesterday I doubted the sincerity of all of them. Now I can only wonder. What if the increasing frequency of these signs is no accident?

I made my daily two slices of toast. I was running late and rushing to get too much done and I burnt them both. Thinking my breakfast ruined, I deposited it in the trash and decided to stop at the bakery instead. This religious artifact would have been lost to the landfill if I had not, from the corner of my eye, glimpsed the face of the son of our lord Jesus Christ looking back at me from the bin.

I stopped in my tracks. How do I describe the moment of Revelation? The bakery was forgotten. The commute to work forgotten. It was a moment of clarity, and I was filled with a sense of peace and well-being. The sensation was almost electric, the hair on my neck was on end. In that one moment a lifetime of question and doubt was gone.

Look at the picture and ask yourself if it speaks to you on a deep and personal level. It CANNOT be mere accident, mere chance. It doesn’t merely resemble Jesus, it cannot be imagined or twisted into something that looks like a face. It IS clearly and undeniably the face of Christ. This is my sincere belief. Think upon the quote from the top of this listing, and reflect upon His use, once again, of BREAD as a symbol of His body.

This toast is exactly as it came out of the toaster. The toast and the photographs are completely un-retouched. The burnt areas were not scraped off or brushed away. The burn was caused by my GE toaster oven and the hand of a higher power.

Amid all the fakes and frauds and scams, this is your opportunity to possess real physical evidence of the existence of God. I no longer need the relic itself. I know it was not the actual toast that touched my heart but the spirit God from within it. I am passing that experience on to you. Bidding starts at $0.01."

Apple Cider Vinegar

The guys at work had been talking about this miracle-fountain-of-youth-au-natural drink that supposed to detoxify your body, helping you lose weight and boosting your immune system at the same time. And its just like anything else that someone wants you to try: Name all the good things about it, and in small print at the bottom list ALL of the crap. Please allow me to explain.

First, you twist off the cap and immediately smell it; The oh so familiar stench of vinegar. Even if you've never smelled vinegar before, you'll know. It smells like what I would imagine a dead camel's ball sack would smell like if it layed under a blazing sun for a week and every once in a while other camels would come buy and piss on it.

Second, your shaky hand holds a spoon so as to take it straight (as I hear is the best and most efficient way to take it). As you pour it it dribbles down the side, more getting everywhere else than is actually getting on the spoon. Now the smell is stronger and almost unbearable. Your eyes fixated on the shaky spoon. The brown liquid spilling off the sides. IT kind of reminds of the Goonies when the kids are in the 'summer restaurant' with Momma Fratelli and ask for water. She proceeds to give them 4 glasses of an unidentifiable brown liquid.

Mouth: This is supposed to be water?
Momma: It's wet innit? Drink it!

Finally, you bring it to your mouth and say a prayer:

As it hits, you can feel your tongue scrambling to get out of your mouth.

Then it hits the back of your throat and burns like hell as it travels down to your stomach, who immediately tries to force it back up.

And thats just the first teaspoon.

The second goes relatively the same except 10 times as bad because you already know whats going to happen, except now your stomach really doesnt want it. I guess it wouldnt be as bad if you just put the teaspoonfuls in a cup and chugged. Ill have to try that next time. But its still going to taste like yak piss.

Oh and to the wise asses that say. Why not dillute it in water? Thats like chinese water torture instead of just getting beheaded.

But, I will stay the course as our president says. Both of us unsure of the outcome.

Apple Cider vinegar - Proof that everything that is good for you tastes like crap.

Peace