Apple Cider Vinegar

The guys at work had been talking about this miracle-fountain-of-youth-au-natural drink that supposed to detoxify your body, helping you lose weight and boosting your immune system at the same time. And its just like anything else that someone wants you to try: Name all the good things about it, and in small print at the bottom list ALL of the crap. Please allow me to explain.

First, you twist off the cap and immediately smell it; The oh so familiar stench of vinegar. Even if you've never smelled vinegar before, you'll know. It smells like what I would imagine a dead camel's ball sack would smell like if it layed under a blazing sun for a week and every once in a while other camels would come buy and piss on it.

Second, your shaky hand holds a spoon so as to take it straight (as I hear is the best and most efficient way to take it). As you pour it it dribbles down the side, more getting everywhere else than is actually getting on the spoon. Now the smell is stronger and almost unbearable. Your eyes fixated on the shaky spoon. The brown liquid spilling off the sides. IT kind of reminds of the Goonies when the kids are in the 'summer restaurant' with Momma Fratelli and ask for water. She proceeds to give them 4 glasses of an unidentifiable brown liquid.

Mouth: This is supposed to be water?
Momma: It's wet innit? Drink it!

Finally, you bring it to your mouth and say a prayer:

As it hits, you can feel your tongue scrambling to get out of your mouth.

Then it hits the back of your throat and burns like hell as it travels down to your stomach, who immediately tries to force it back up.

And thats just the first teaspoon.

The second goes relatively the same except 10 times as bad because you already know whats going to happen, except now your stomach really doesnt want it. I guess it wouldnt be as bad if you just put the teaspoonfuls in a cup and chugged. Ill have to try that next time. But its still going to taste like yak piss.

Oh and to the wise asses that say. Why not dillute it in water? Thats like chinese water torture instead of just getting beheaded.

But, I will stay the course as our president says. Both of us unsure of the outcome.

Apple Cider vinegar - Proof that everything that is good for you tastes like crap.

Peace