It had been more than 2 years but I finally made it back to Deming, New Mexico - the locale of most of my family. I wish it was a happy trip. My grandmother became ill, and we made the 12 hour drive to be with her. Unfortunately, 2 days after we arrived, my grandmother passed at the age of 83. I took happiness that I was able to show her pictures of my son that she had only seen once when he was a baby and my daughter whom she never got to meet. In her weakened condition, her eyes lit up and her frail arms reached and she grasped the pictures - holding them in front of her so she could see. As weak as she was she could still do such things, also being able to wave at visitors, including me.

With her issues, the hospital could do no more for her and it was decided she would be sent home to my Aunt's house. Hearing this news, her eyes lit up once again and her demeanor changed, even managing a smile now and then. After monitoring her closely for 24 hours, it was decided to remove her oxygen and she was only supposed to last another 30 mins. 2 hours passed and she was still breathing on her own. Everyone was asked to wait outside of the room to allow her to rest. Sure enough, a short time later, she took her last breath.

Going back to Deming was quite an experience. While I was sad about my grandmother, I was also happy to visit with family - cousins who had their own children, other cousins who grew from knee height since the last time I saw them. I was happy to see Aunt's and Uncle's whom I never felt closer to. I went to my cousins Mariachi concert and watched her play violin. I was in the room when she played for my grandmother. I experienced alot of things and alot of emotions. Im grateful to my grandmother for everything she did for me and my family, and for allowing me to go back to Deming and experience the Family element I didnt know I was missing.

Rage Against the Machine reunites

Somewhere, John - the best man at my wedding, and one of my best friends - is one happy camper. I remember when Rage broke up and 3 of the 4 members started jamming with Chris Cornell to form Audioslave. I was a big fan of the first album. I recall watching a surprise first performance by Audioslave on evil MTV which drew me in. John, though, wasn't too excited, "It's just not Rage.", he said when I asked him how he liked the album. And that was kind of a consensus for most of my friends who were into RATM.

I myself, wasnt as big a fan of RATM, although I did really like them. Im a
singer, so rap (a small majority) can be appreciated at a distance. I cant dedicate myself to it though because I'll eventually want to start singing. Zack De La Rocha, is phenomenal though. His lyrics are full of truth and smite and when he's performing you can feel the emotion in each word. Guitarist Tom Morello, drummer Brad Wilk and bassist Tim Commerford are all awesome in their own right as well, with Tom manipulating his guitar sounds so it sounds like anything but. The man also practiced in the old days with Adam Jones, the wonder from TOOL. I enjoy watching the band as a whole perform, their energy is unmatched. I saw a DVD of their "Battle
for Mexico City" show. They were playing in these sort of ruins in front of what seemed like an ocean of people - all jumping and screaming and singing along. I felt I was there instead of sitting on my friend's couch living green. Audioslave's first album of the same name was, in my eyes, a huge album. I thoroughly enjoyed the tracks and listened to it for quite some time - their follow ups were disappointing.

All in all, Im happy that a great band is back together to make great and inspiring music, and also that John can soak up their new material. I can almost see him rapping along....

Boat drinks, mate.

Are you freaking kidding me?

I am not a racist. I am not a bigot. I am an open-minded individual. I do not hate based on color, sex or sexual preference. I am 100% allergic to stupid people. I dont mean to offend anyone in this post. I just need to type this out so I can try to understand, although Im sure I wont.

I read this article today and couldn't believe what I was reading. Basically it says Persian's everywhere are pissed off with a fictional movie. The creator himself states its not entirely accurate and that he did most of it for the artsy side of making a film. But for some reason, probably because they havent stopped crying for 2 seconds to think, people are getting their panties in a bunch over nothing. ITS FUCKING FICTION PEOPLE!

Fiction: something feigned, invented, or imagined; a made-up story.

So grow up. If there's nothing else for you to complain about, then sit there in contentment.

Incog-cheapo

OK, this got under my skin so I decided to post.

I bought my son War of the Monsters (2003) for the PS2 sometime last year. We've enjoyed playing, he more than I, and he's gotten to the point where he can beat it with any monster and has unlocked many a new monster and levels, etc. Each time you beat a level you get about 5 - 6,000 points, but the last level you receive 30 - 60,000 points which is good news considering the unlockable monsters are at 200,000 points.

The excitement my son gets when he unlocks a new monster or gets to buy a new monster costume is fun to watch. We've gotten to the point where there are no more items to unlock, except one costume for a character named Agamo - which is some sort of rock monster. When you select the "Special" item you receive a message that simply says "You can not unlock this item here!" So here we are getting as many points as possible, unlocking anything that can be unlocked, beating the game countless times with each character, still nothing.

Fed up, I look up this game on the 'net to find a hint of some sort on how to unlock the last monster costume. I find several sites and each say the same thing : "Agamo's fourth costume (Mecha-Sweet Tooth) Have a Twisted Metal Black save on your memory card where you have beaten the game with Sweet Tooth".
This is the dumbest thing I've ever heard of. I buy a game in 2006 that was made in 2003 and the only way to unlock the last character is to have beaten another unrelated (as far as genre) game from 2001 and have beaten it with a specific character. On top of that, having saved that crap on my already overloaded but brand new memory card. To state my opinion again, I have never heard of anything so dumb.

The game is fun and all for what it is, and the new monsters you get to unlock are pretty cool. But the premise behind linking two unrelated games together that way is rubbish. I was going to send an email (write a letter) to incognito, the makers, but it seems like I'd just recieve a "we're sorry you feel that way, but..." reply.
Also, going through the 'net and forums, no one else seems bothered by it. Probably because other players of the game had probably already had and beaten Twisted Metal Black so unlocking it was no problem. Now, I'm left with the choice of buying Twisted metal black and beating it with that specific character just so I can unlock the last item on War of the Monsters. Basically, falling into the makers' evil plan to make more money. But I guess its a small price to pay to see your 5 year old get excited to unlock that last monster. Fuck you anyway Incognito.

Where does the path lead?

the motion keeps my heart running Hosted on Zooomr

If you haven't read the rest of my blog to this point you really have no idea who I am, unless you know me already (right xav?). Each submission, as zany and rant-ish as they might be, reflect my personal being. One thing, the main thing, is music.

From as long as I "can't" remember I've been singing. I started singing along to my dad's r&b records, then it all went to fuck all so I found rock. I had always listened to mainstream rock in bits and pieces but r&b was always on the fore front. Then r&b lived up to its moniker of "rap and bullcrap" when it became more about the beat and a catchy hook then actual feeling and emotion. No longer were r&b groups singing about love, now it became what could get played in a club. "Where's the bacardi at?(????)" It became more about rock hard abs and dancing then harmonies and accapella. I used to go to the mall and peruse the r&b section of the music stores for less-known groups, but now the line is blurred - all the emotion compromised for a club hit. Now I can't stand the new bullshit. I still appreciate the old songs but its not the same.

For the past few years I've been listening to "rock". Again, not the crap on the radio. I try to find quality music. I have also changed my outlook on the world completely. I admit the culprit was undoubtedly the X and Acid I took while at parties, my all time favorite moment in life ever. They really did open my mind up. Any who, The point of this rant is to wonder how far of a path I have to follow to realize my dream, my passion - music. I seem to get close but then it slips away. I know it is up to me to make it happen. I can't really on anyone anymore. I want to make music that people can get lost in. Who can smoke a bowl and lay down in a bed of speakers that are pumping out my songs. Progressive music is my dream, I must attain. To be continued....

I have returned.

life feeds on life feeds on life... Hosted on Zooomr

Zooomr is giving bloggers free pro accounts for massive photo uploads, so I decided to revive my blog. From now on though, most if not all the pictures I post will be mine. I have another blog: mindseyeopen.blogspot.com which was for nothing but pics since I didnt have a pro account, plus I didnt want to all of a sudden start writing on that blog and break the flow.

So, in this "blogger revival" I would like to thank Zooomr for being cool enough to give away free pro accounts so that I can upload as many pics as possible.

And awaaay we go!!

Next...

al-Zarqawi, Americas most wanted man - since we cant find Osama - was killed today in a bombing by U.S forces acting on a tip from an unwitting terrorist aide. Bush called zarqawi's death "a severe blow to al-Qaida, and it is a significant victory in the war on terror." Bush also said its not going to stop attacks, no shit.
My question is, going back to what was said when the "War on Terror" first started, since number one was killed doesnt that allow someone else to step up. Meaning someone else to spend countless hours and dollars on surveillance, while thousands die. Just like a sharks tooth, one falls off, another comes and another and another. Its never going to end. Bush would rather us pat ourselves on the back because after 3 years we finally got someone. We are going to pay for our leaders mistakes our whole lives, at least whats left.
This guy sums it up:
"This a great loss for all the Sunnis," 40-year-old Abid al-Duleimi said. "If they killed al-Zarqawi, more than one al-Zarqawi will replace him."